I hoped it wasn't true

My mother called me from her office last Friday afternoon.

"Have you heard about anything, around the neighbourhood?" I was at home then.

"No, I don't think so. Why?"

"Word is Pak Ad passed away."

Passed away? Pak Ad, or real name Saad, was a dear neighbour to all of us living in the taman. A retired RISDA staff who later made a living a handyman. A few years earlier, he had a heart operation.

"I'll go see. Are you sure?"

"That's why I asked you to go see. Call me back as soon as you find out."

As I got myself ready, I realised I was in one of those moments. Moments when there is an uncertainty (and usually it's a bad one) where you hope very hard that it isn't true. I made my way to Pak Ad's house hoping the news to be wrong. But I couldn't. As a believer in God as the controller of fate, I tried to convinced myself that whatever happened, whatever awaits me at my destination that evening, are His will.

And He willed Pak Ad to join Him on that day. He willed Pak Ad's heart to fail just after his finishes his Friday prayers. Innalillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un.

When I arrived at his house, some of the neighbours were there already. I got the news from them, confirming Pak Ad's demise. I took out my handphone and called my mother.

"Ibu? Yeah, it's true. Pak Ad passed away earlier this afternoon."

We all lost Pak Ad that day. His family lost a father, husband, brother and grandfather. We the neighbours lost a kind-hearted and soft-spoken friend. I personally lost an elder who often took the time to talk to me and advice me whenever he could. For that I cannot thank you enough.

My prayers and istighfar for you Pak Ad. Al-Fatihah. May Allah bless you, grant you forgiveness and place you among the pious and the steadfast. Amin.